Things that matter in building a relationship: Therapist shares tips

From healing after a conflict to connecting with the other person, here are a few things required to build a healthy relationship.

Things that matter in building a relationship: Therapist shares tips(Unsplash)

A relationship is built on the base of a lot of things. From loyalty to trust to the friendship that two people share, to the ease of communication with each other, a relationship takes a lot of ingredients to become a great and safe space for two people. After the initial firecrackers phase of falling in love and knowing each other, a relationship becomes a long journey of efforts, communication and camaraderie that is shared by two people. While love is one of the main ingredients of making a relationship work out, it takes a lot more. When two people start getting comfortable in each other’s presence, they start to communicate better, trust each other more, and start seeing the prospect of a future together.

Addressing this, Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw wrote, “In a partnership you will come back to these three things again and again and again.⁠ As long as you choose together, you will argue. But the more you learn to argue well, the better things can be.⁠ As long as you choose together you will mess up. And as long as you learn to appropriately repair, the better things can be.⁠ As long as you choose together, your work is to choose connection. And the more you learn to do that, the better things can be.⁠” She further noted down three things which are important in building a healthy relationship:

Conflict: Unlike what we feel about conflicts in a relationship, they are in fact healthy, conflict in ideas, opinion sand perspectives open up newer versions of the other person for us. In a long relationship, both people undergo change with time. With conflicts, we are able to know the other person better.

Healing: Which conflicts are necessary, it is also important to heal after the conflict, let the disagreements go and become better versions of each other. Not living each other’s side, at the face of adversity or conflict is important.

Connection: A relationship requires the constant efforts from both ends to connect better as beings. The amount of energy, time and interest that we put in knowing the other person and connecting with them better is also important in building a healthy, safe and happy relationship.